A family’s love language

Wong Ee Xin

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Illustration: Ngiam Li Yi

Physical displays of affection in the Wong household are as scarce as honest politics in Malaysia. When the occasion arises, we freeze as if we’ve been called on without warning to give a speech. Since leaving home, I’ve learned to exchange hugs with my friends, but I just can’t seem to cross the invisible five-foot chasm between my family and me. We find other ways to express love and care.

When my grandmother passed away, I arrived at my hometown in Ipoh a little later than everyone else. When I got home, the first thing someone asked me was “Have you eaten?”

No, I had not. All I wanted was to bury myself in someone’s arms and cry. I could feel the tears welling up inside me, but there was no space for grief in a house buzzing with conversations among distant relatives and friends who had come from near and far for the wake.

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